Sunday, April 24, 2016

Late Night Thoughts on the Cosmos, Love, and Hamlet...

What does it mean to exist?  Is it a collection of atoms?  A sparkle of beautiful randomness?  Is it conscience thought?  A semblance of something greater?  To BE or not to BE! How true those words ring throughout every millennia.  For that is THE question.

What is this aching, yearning for something more than my circumstances?  Why is there this burden of rising above the terms of life I have set before me?  It is just by chance that I feel this way?  Could there be a purpose to me?  To us?

If 'no', then why BE at all?  If we are simply molecules producing molecules then why produce Thought?  Art?  Love?  Randomness is too easy.  It is a cop out.  There must be design in this existence.  Beauty.  Pain.  Desire.  Hurt.  Joy... Thought?  These must amount to more than firing neurons dancing in the hemispheres of our minds.

Oh, God, how Logic has tried to deny you through reason and elementary process, but you reveal your nature there as well.  Time and time again, when science illuminates the darkest corners of our ponderings you step gently into the light beckoning us forward.

But what to make of this Beaconing?  Is it into deeper knowledge of chemicals and forces of physics?  I think not.  Perhaps, this Calling placed upon us is relational.  If someone beyond my understanding molded all that I know out of nothing but decided to use part of Himself for MY creation, I ultimately cannot escape the fact that I am created for the purpose of pursuit.

So I will run to His Love.  But I fear that is not enough.  For if I am made from THE image of Love than I am bound to the duties of Love.  Love that which is received must also be given.  I cannot anchor my feet in the River and bathe in the endless waters.  I must carry this Love back to the villages.  For the Love I was given is missional.  It cannot be contained.  So I will flood all that I see with what was given to me.

Will you join me?

Friday, January 6, 2012

As Best As I Can Put Into Words...

The Vision.

What is the Vision? Is that even the right word? Longing? Aching? Restlessness? All these seem to fall short of defining this burning I have inside to do something greater than myself. I see a broken and hurting generation and I desperately want to intercede and change the injustices all around me. They are not alone. But how do they know that? How am I to tell them when all I do is continue along the assembly line and give into the "American Corporate Dream"? I am so tired of feeling like an empty shell. Roaming from this land to that land. Clocking in my time when and where it is needed. Give me your heart, Oh God! Let this thirst building inside me never be quenched but let me pursue your unending fountain till my very last breath.

This world needs healing. This world needs redemption. Where is the Justice? Who will defend the unfortunate, the down-trodden? I will. I must! I can't breath behind this wall of indifference. These are the visions you have laid on me as best as I can describe them:

-We begin with a season of prayer
-nonstop, 24/7 prayer
-this is a devoted place, set aside
-this is how we talk to you
-this is how we begin to draw closer


-I see a room of dirty, messy people
-people who love Jesus
-people who don't know if they love Jesus
-people who don't care about Jesus at all
-living life together


-The Room
-Friday night when the bars are open
-musicians play
-people are smoking outside
-there is teaching of rudimentary Christian doctrines
-there are drunks/addicts
-people come in with a myriad of baggage both Christian and not
-it is an ER that turns no one away
-the worship contains nonbelievers
-the Glory of God is there
-Love is there


-Music Programs
-mentorships/lessons given
-band/worship dynamics taught
-recording arts studied
-videography is studied
-outlets for expression are given


-Home Groups
-8-12 people of different backgrounds
-faith fundamentals
-Biblical characters studied
-how to basics
-prayer
-study scripture
-love your community
-Who is Jesus?


-The Community is Central
-schools
-local businesses
-school sports
-other nonprofits organizations
-churches
-parents of kids
-families
-the hungry feeding the hungry
-the homeless clothing the homeless
-the abused loving the unloved


I don't know the whole picture. I only know the next step for me is to speak out. And pray. I don't have a team. I don't have a strategy. I don't know logistics. I don't understand most of what is supposed to happen. I only know what is on my heart: that everyone MUST find the True Love. My heart is breaking for those who are broken to pieces.

But, God, if you are leading I want to follow. I don't know what I'm praying for, but just like the song that helped feed our hunger when you established the Vineyard in Leesburg years ago, I know "There Must Be More".

As for me and my house, we are praying for more.

I will Restlessly seek Redemption...

Monday, December 5, 2011

Visions in the Winter of My Discontent...

It begins with a sigh. A silent tear. I can't do this for much longer. Coming. Leaving. Returning again just to pretend I am not an empty shell. God where are you? Where am I? Will we ever meet again? I sure hope so.


Vision:

-24/7 prayer room
-rough/dangerous/messy
-music store
-studio
-hurting/healing
-community
-the dark horses
-drug addictions/alcohol abuse
-unwanted pregnancies
-love/hugs
-the River
-music lessons
-tutoring programs
-kitchens ran by the hungry
-homes built by the homeless
-pride taken by the fallen
-love given to/from the orphaned


I don't know the answers. I just know I am RESTLESS!!!