Like the Apostle Peter. What a fascinating guy. He's stubborn. He often speaks before he thinks. It seems he gets it wrong more times than he gets it right, but there is just something about the guy you just love. He is always ready to go. Ready to leap out and grab all that waiting him. And it was as I was reading about him this morning that I realized how much I have in common with this man.
Here's the scene:
Peter has been following this man around for three years. A man he believes is the one person who can rescue his people and his family from the oppression that has been upon them for so long they don't remember a time without it. He has personally seen his man not only talk about changing the world but watched him transform lives and physically heal people in ways that didn't even seem possible. He has seen this man not only defy and outwit those that lord their authority over Peter and his people but has also seen this man over and over again bring love and hope to people even Peter has forgot about. He had witnessed mysterious and powerful things that he cannot explain except to say, "This man is God."
He is very close to this man, Jesus. In fact, out of the hundreds that follow Jesus he is of the twelve closest. And of those twelve he is of the three that are even closer. And of those three he is the one. The one whom Jesus invests his whole message on. "You, Peter. You will be my Rock that holds up my message."
Finally, they have come back to the city that it all revolves around, Jerusalem. After a week of chaotic teachings and miracles (even raising someone from the dead) Jesus, along with Peter and the other eleven find a quiet place to celebrate the Passover (a very important meal in their society.) Jesus has just gone through the ceremony and has told his friends that one of them will turn him over to be persecuted. He then proceeds to tell them that they will all indeed abandon him that very night like scared little sheep.
It is in this setting that we enter the story:
"Peter broke in, 'Even if everyone else falls to pieces on account of you, I won't.'
'Don't be so sure,' Jesus said. 'This very night, before the rooster crows up the dawn, you will deny me three times.'
Peter protested, 'Even if I had to die with you, I would never deny you." All the others said the same thing.'
Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, 'Stay here while I go over there and pray.' Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, 'This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me.'
Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, 'My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?'
When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, 'Can't you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there is another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire."
-The Message
Suddenly, armed men come and take Jesus away. All the disciples, including Peter scatter. However, Peter follows at a distance. Peter watches the first of many trials that condemn Jesus to die. As the verdict of Jesus' demise is called out loud, I can imagine Peter letting out an involuntary grasp, "How can it be?" A slave girl notices. "You were with the Galilean." "No," he answers as he looks for the door. Again he is stopped, "You follow Jesus the Nazarene." "I swear I don't know him!" Someone else chimes in, "No. No. We recognize you by your accent. You're one of them." "I DON'T KNOW THIS MAN!" As the sun comes over the night worn crowd a rooster crows in the distance. The words come back to him....."Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." "My God, no! I take it back! PLEASE! I TAKE IT BACK!" Peter runs from the scene in utter brokenness and does the only thing he can do. He weeps.
I can't help but imagine the pain and agony Peter went through in that moment. His best friend. His teacher. The one he devoted his life to, gone. Dead. And Peter let it happen. Peter turned his back on Jesus. Now Jesus was gone. How could he be gone? He was the one! Wasn't he? I can only imagine that if I were Peter in that moment how much I would have wished I could take back those shameful words. How much I wished I could tell Jesus I did not mean it. Could I have gone on? Am I still worthy to carry the torch that Jesus wanted to pass on to me? He must have thought that. Would he ever be able to move on and become the person Jesus knew he was meant to be?
Fortunately, Peter's redemption was closer than he could have ever known....
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